Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
