idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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