I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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