You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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