ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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