I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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