it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
