Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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