you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
bring money and cleavage
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize