I never want to see another naked old woman again.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
