dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
