I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
