did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
