just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize