I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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