She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
