Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize