New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
