Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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