i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
