what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
