I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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