Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
