his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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