tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
