I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize