When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
