I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
