btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
