thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
PANTIES FOUND
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