I must be too annoying 4 u.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
