when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
