Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
