That's when you crack a 10am beer
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize