Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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