whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize