He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
