ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
third nipple confirmed
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
