so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
