Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he puts the penis in happiness.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
