I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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