That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You are a genius and a whore.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
