I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
