But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
