so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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