Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
