Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
