do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize