Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
