You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
50% drunk capacity currently
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
