it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
