I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
its not stalking. its research.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
