I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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