Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
