I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
