I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
