so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
