how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
