dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
