porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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