so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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