I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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