i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Come see our sink grown plant.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
