Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
