Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
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