I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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