If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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