dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
