i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
